It’s A Date: Dating Strategies Later In Life

Starting a romantic relationship can be challenging, regardless of your age. But when you’re an older adult, perhaps dealing with the loss of a prior relationship or partner, perhaps out of touch with modern dating etiquette, it can be a minefield of missteps and uncertainty. Yet, as the population ages and people live longer, the prospect of living those “bonus” years by yourself is daunting to many. While there is not a lot of research on the dating habits of older adults, there is some that can inform us about what’s expected and what’s desired, what’s hoped for, and what’s not important. For example, from a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Development, we have evidence that adults over age 50 find that their life satisfaction increases significantly at the point of moving in with someone, but then moving on to marriage is not associated with a further increase in their satisfaction and well-being. From this, we can infer that marriage may be less important than just having the relationship itself. In fact, many appear to be satisfied with a “live-apart-together” relationship (LAT relationship). This may be because each party prizes their independence or routines, or because their life circumstances (such as disapproving adult children or financial situations) mean that the relationship is better off with each party living in their own separate space. 

While the apart- together concept may make sense, what also appears clear from existing research is that older adults who are dating and seeking companionship nonetheless still prize intimacy and sex in relationships. A recent study from the University of New Hampshire found that sex continues to be a high priority in relationships among those 65 and older. 72% of study participants said they would not pursue a romantic relationship if it didn’t include sex as one component. While the participants had broad interpretations of what counted as sex and intimacy, it’s clear that just because they were older adults with all of the body considerations that brings to mind, being intimate was still valued and important. As one recent article on dating after age 50 stated, “Our desire for love, intimacy, companionship, and connection doesn’t go away just because we’re older, but it can take on new forms if our expectations of what a romantic relationship ‘looks like’ become more expansive. If you’re looking for love in your later years, perhaps the most important takeaway is to be open to the various ways you may find it.”

And how are older adults finding those relationships these days? Statistics show that ⅓ of couples who married in 2025 met through a dating site or app, which was 27% higher than the year prior. A recent post in Axios cited growing numbers of older adults who use dating apps, many of whom do so with more confidence than younger participants (though with some challenge in determining which matches are legitimate and which are not). Quoting data from AARP, the Axios post suggested that Match.com and OurTime.com are the best sites for seniors who are seeking serious relationships. The matchmaking website Tawkify has an updated list of what they review as the best online dating sites for seniors, with SilverSingles, SeniorMatch, and eHarmony among those highlighted. Tawkify itself, which is not a dating app but an actual matchmaker service, reports that its services are well-suited for older adults and that they work with clients of all ages, including mature adults. 

No matter which site you try or which service seems best suited for you, there’s lots of advice offered on how to best position yourself both for success and safety. Experts all agree that honesty is the best policy when creating a dating profile and describing what you are seeking. Use recent photos, be upfront about your interests and what you are looking for, limit how much detail and personal information you initially share, and always begin in-person meet-ups in public places and where a trusted person knows where you are. Dating coach Amy Nobile has other strategies for older adults trying their hand at dating apps: She suggests you focus on only one app at a time and recommends you keep a journal for self-reflection and to help you sort through what you want, what core values should be in your profile, and what aspects of your personality should shine in descriptions of yourself. She also includes some practical strategies to stay safe: always ask for a last name so you can verify if the person really exists; your first date should never feel like an actual date (maybe just grabbing a coffee?); don’t take rejection by someone personally; and, if you make it to a 3rd date, consider whether there’s chemistry, alignment of fundamental values and whether you are both in the same place regarding readiness to be in a relationship. 

So, however you feel, and whatever you find, we wish you the best in your later-in-life dating decisions. As Barbara Streisand once said about her later-in-life successful marriage, “The best part of being married later in life is you get great wisdom — you don’t have your learner’s permit anymore.” Wishing you great wisdom as you search for love and romance.