The Hard Stuff: What To Do With Years Of Accumulated Possessions

Did you inherit items from your parents or other loved ones? Does your home contain keepsakes passed down from one generation to the next? And what will happen to those “heirlooms” once you pass away? Are your children or other loved ones willing and/or able to take possession? This dilemma- “the passing down of the possessions”- is one faced by innumerable families across the country, as boomers begin to downsize or die, and as their younger relatives struggle with mixed emotions about accepting your possessions. Many younger adults have neither the space, money, nor interest in storing or displaying these heirlooms, collections, or just plain junk from their older relatives. There’s even a popular YouTube channel called The Millennial Inheritance where host Nick Fox dispenses wisdom and advice about what to do with the inherited stuff that no one actually wants. According to a recent post featuring an interview with Nick, about 50% of people who are designated heirs for physical objects decline to take them, either due to housing or space issues or disinterest in the objects. So, will all of your “stuff” that you hope to pass on to your children instead just add to intergenerational tension?

Determining what stays, what goes (and where it goes), and what goes with you (if you’re moving) can be a herculean task. Recently, journalist Richard Eisenberg recounted his own struggle with downsizing in preparation for a move to a smaller space. Describing the obstacles standing in his way (overwhelmingness, avoidance and procrastination), he nonetheless persevered and found joy in no longer being a “prisoner of his possessions.” Among his valuable recommendations? You don’t need to downsize by yourself (there’s help to be had with senior move managers, social media, or even new books, such as the recently published Rightsizing After 70: Decluttering, Divesting, and Deciding Who Gets What); Give yourself permission to get rid of even more sentimental items; and create a system of sorting that works for you, keeping yourself on track and working room to room. The process of sifting and sorting through your possessions can be overwhelming (that’s why many suggest you avoid the “chaos decluttering” method if possible), but perhaps ask yourself one essential question, as House Outlook recommends: Do you really want to take the item with you on a hypothetical (or actual) move? This is called the “Move-out Method” for decluttering and downsizing, and it forces you to unsparingly consider what you possess and whether it’s important or necessary to continue carrying it forward with you. House Beautiful even has the useful suggestion of creating a “Museum of Memories,” whereby you or a professional framer can photograph and beautifully frame items of sentimental value that no longer can be physically stored in your home.

And what to do with the items you’ve resolved to relinquish? AARP recently posted a helpful list of retailers who will pay you for your old electronics– not necessarily heirlooms to pass down, but items that may still retain some monetary value. What about more sentimental or meaningful items? For example, how many of you are holding on to sterling silver items, either serving pieces or tableware? One recent questioner asked an advice columnist for The Wall Street Journal whether they should sell their silver items to be melted down for cash, or insist their heirs take charge of these meaningful family heirlooms. The advice columnist suggested a compromise, selecting a precious few items to pass down while using the cash from items sold to donate to a favorite charity, perhaps one meaningful to the original owners of the silver. However, another recent post in Real Simple suggested there is a vintage market for sterling silver, so selling it to be melted down may not be necessary. That article went on to suggest other “vintage” items that sell well include hotel memorabilia, unusual textiles or needlepoints, and unusual or rare ceramics. Yahoo Shopping even called this “The Golden Age of Thrifting” and listed many items that might find a buyer if your heirs do not have interest, including sterling silver, solid wood furniture, and original artwork.

If all else fails, and you have no buyers for your stuff, there are often worthy charities who will be happy to have your hand-overs. For an updated list of donation opportunities, organize your stuff into piles and read here.