Changing Places: Are You Up To Moving To A New Home?

Given the difficulties in the US housing market, it’s quite remarkable that close to 80% of older adults own their own homes, and about ¾ of those homeowners do so without carrying a mortgage. That’s a remarkable statistic about money and wealth among baby boomers, but it also underscores why so many older adults are reluctant to sell their homes and move. If you’ve lived in your home and community for a long time, and you are no longer paying a mortgage (though many other expenses accompany owning a home), you may have little incentive to pack up and move, though if you need to free up cash to meet your expenses, you may have no choice but to do so. It’s often hypothesized that older adults downsize once kids are out of the house and the need for extra space is no longer present. However, recent data suggest that fewer older adults than in previous times are looking to sell and downsize. It just could be that staying put, in the house you’ve spent your life in, with all the memories and momentos you’ve acquired, outweighs the need or desire to move, especially with the costs and stress that can accompany a late-in-life move.

When older adults do decide to move, the reasons often have little to do with wanting to downsize (a problem in this housing market, where the inventory for smaller homes is often quite limited). It’s often more of a lifestyle decision to be closer to family or friends. We previously posted about the desire of grandparents to live closer to their grandchildren, though Kiplinger recently suggested that you think twice before making that kind of move, especially given your needs as an older adult and the schedules of grandchildren as they get older. But moving is about more than location and proximity to family or friends. It involves a range of considerations, including the logistics of sorting, selling, and packing your belongings, the convenience and familiarity of the local services you use and need to have access to, the functionality of a new place, and whether a new home will meet your current and future physical needs. And perhaps the most underrated consideration: The emotional toll of leaving a long-established home for something new and unknown.

At its most extreme, moving out of your home, either to a new one or to a senior retirement community or assisted living facility, can cause something known as “Relocation Stress Syndrome,” which can cause the person moving to experience anxiousness, confusion, and a profound sense of loss. This is similar to the experience of “Transfer Trauma,” which many older adults experience when their lives are suddenly upended, and they find themselves transferred to a new living environment due to failing health, hospital discharge, or some other urgent event. Transfer trauma happens when those things familiar to you- the people, places, and possessions that made up your home environment- are suddenly gone, and you become traumatized with the sudden change in your life. For an older adult living in the community but selling their home and moving to a new community and a new way of life, a similar level of anxiety, distress, and even grief can arise. A recent article in Elle Decor quoted the interior designer Charlotte Moss, summing up her feelings as she packed up her home to leave after several decades: “But moving house is not merely a logistical act, it is an emotional reckoning, a conversation with the life one has lived.” Or, as professional organizer Regina Lark commented about helping her 89-year-old mother move from a house to a small apartment, “ I realized that my mom was negotiating between her past and her future, even at age 89.”

To handle not only the logistical hurdles but also the emotional turmoil that can accompany an older adult who is moving, there are professional senior move managers who can handle many of the challenging tasks, including helping to downsize possessions, locate the appropriate next home, and handle many of the logistics of the move itself. As one expert recently said, “Moving a person isn’t like moving furniture.” And professional moving companies are also beginning to realize the special sensitivity involved in moving an older adult, whether across town or across the country. In recent days, both Bekins and Wheaton, major national moving companies, announced their new senior moving services certified by the National Association of Senior Move Managers. Known as Silver Certified Senior Moving Services, these companies recognize the growing market of older adults and their families who need help with the logistical and emotional challenges of relocation. The services offered include a dedicated move manager, detailed inventories, flexible scheduling, careful handling of meaningful belongings, and clear communication. Diverging from a typical, standard move, these companies recognize that moving an older adult can be a complex endeavor requiring empathy, efficiency, and patience. The goal of these services, which will require training staff at all levels of these moving companies, is to “create a consistent culture of sensitivity.” As we all move on in years, and face the challenge of deciding whether or not to move and where, realizing that others recognize the sensitivity and emotional toll of the situation should provide at least a modicum of comfort for a major life event.