Older members of the LGBTQ+ community have never had it easy. In addition to navigating all of the challenges older adults generally confront- such as physical limitations or cognitive impairment, loneliness and social isolation, loss of relationships, and financial challenges- these older adults have also likely dealt with a lifetime of distress and discrimination. Many were unable to live authentic lives until later in life, if at all, or join in loving partnerships that can sustain you through thick and thin. They likely also faced job and housing discrimination (and still do when seeking long term care), perhaps leading to less money for retirement, and they might not have children who can help support and care for them as they get older. While recent years have seen an upturn in societal acceptance and embrace, there has been a newly energized pushback and rollback of acceptance and laws, given our new political reality, so that the hard-fought liberties that so many LGBTQ+ individuals have struggled for may soon be at risk again.  

June is known as Pride Month, the time when the history, culture, and struggles of the LGBTQ+ community are recognized and celebrated, and the national civil rights movement for the community arose after the uprising at Stonewall in New York City. While it was a momentous event for so many in the gay community, it did not necessarily herald society-wide immediate approval, and many older adults remained closeted until much later in their lives. A recent television special on ABC News, “Late To The Party: Coming Out Later in Life,” presents the challenges many community members faced, and continue to face, even as they finally and publicly unveil their true selves. This special was hosted by journalist Charles Blow, who himself came out as bisexual only at the age of 40, and whose book, Fire Shut Up In My Bones, describes the painful and challenging journey he was on to finally come to terms with his identity. Yet, the stories of these older adults are uplifting as they demonstrate that it’s never too late to live authentically.

But at this moment in time, for so many LGBTQ+ older adults, the present and future are unsettling. This year, Pride month comes at a time when books about their community are being removed from libraries, members of their community are being thrown out of the military and sports, HIV prevention and gender identity health care service budgets are being slashed, and anti- LGBTQ+ legislation is once again cropping up in local and state governments. It’s hard to stay positive and serve as a role model for younger generations when so much is in flux, and so many members of the community find that as they get older, they face loneliness and social isolation (their usual social networks, including bars and entertainment venues may no longer welcome them). In fact, just today, the largest Protestant denomination in the country (the Southern Baptists) called for the overturning of the Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage. Older members of the community may, in fact, be living through a repeat of a troubling history once again.

This societal pushback comes at a time when many older members of the community struggle with some of the typical challenges facing older adults. Health care systems may not serve their needs (especially as they relate to their identities) and their needs for caregiving support may come up against facilities that don’t accept their identities, providers who may disregard their wishes about treatment or end of life care, and lack of acknowledgement of the grief they may suffer as friends or partners pass away. In fact, a recent survey found that 70% of aging LGBTQ+ older adults fear having to “re-closet” themselves when seeking housing in long term care facilities. Many who have survived into their later years, despite HIV infection, now also fear for their health with the Federal budget cuts and slashing of programs that have helped them with HIV treatment and prevention. 

For those of you in the community, or those of you who support members of the LGBTQ+ older adults community, it’s important to be aware of resources that provide information and support in these challenging times. First, there is the SAGE National Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging that can connect you to a range of resources for finances, housing, treatment decision-making, and other aspects of growing older.  SAGE also sponsors a mental health app called Hear Me, which gives LGBTQ+ older adults a platform for speaking to a trained listener about the troubles and challenges they are experiencing. The Alzheimer’s Association also has resources to help members of the community who may be dealing with dementia, either as caregivers or as a person with dementia themselves. Finally, Compassion and Choices has an LGBTQ+ toolkit to help provide information and options for adults dealing with advance care planning, end-of-life decision-making, hospital visitation, and other serious illness matters. Being an older adult is challenging enough these days. Adding a history of experiencing prejudice and discrimination can make all of those challenges even worse. During this Pride month, we hope older adults in the LGBTQ+ community get the acknowledgement and support that all older adults need and deserve.