Navigating today’s health care system can be a nightmare, especially if you or a loved one is sick and uncertain as to how to proceed: How to get an appointment with an appropriate specialist? How to get a quick and accurate diagnosis? How to determine the best treatment options? How to access specialized care? The list can go on and on, and the obstacles can be enormous. But what if you can get an expert on your “team” to help you ask the right questions, access the appropriate resources, and determine the best course of action for yourself or your loved one? We may have just found that expert for you. Meet Kayla Thompson-Riviere, RN, founder of HEARD for Life. Kayla has years of Emergency Room and ICU nursing experience, and through her firm, she and her colleagues put that expertise to work for you, to be your advocate and to help you understand and resolve the challenges you or a loved one face when confronting medical illness. agebuzz Managing Editor Connie Zuckerman recently met Kayla and interviewed her to find out her background, her services, and why she may be the missing link you need as you navigate the challenges of being a patient in today’s health care environment.

Connie Zuckerman (CZ): Kayla, can you provide us with some biographical information about yourself and your professional path? Where did you grow up? What was your family situation? Your educational background? Your professional training?

Kayla Thompson-Riviere (KTR): I grew up a military brat. We moved back to the States from Europe when I was five. My curiosity for anatomy, physiology, and pathophysiology grew as I got older. As a teenager, I was probably the only teenager I knew who owned a Physician’s Desk Reference, although I didn’t exactly advertise that fact.

I was a strong student, so becoming a doctor seemed like the logical path. My first year of college, I was a biology major on the pre-med track. But in the spring of that first year, something interesting happened. A friend told me about her nursing program. At first, I wasn’t interested, but she convinced me to attend an information session, and that one hour changed the entire trajectory of my life.

The biggest takeaway from that seminar was this: Doctors treat diseases. Nurses treat people. And I immediately knew that was the better fit for me. I finished the semester, applied to nursing school, and never looked back. I graduated with my Associate’s Degree in Nursing in 2015 from one of the top 100 nursing programs in the country and passed my boards on the first attempt.

CZ: You spent many years as a nurse working in acute care settings, including hospital emergency rooms and intensive care units. What was that work like? Why did you choose to leave that work? How did those experiences inform your current work?

KTR: My love for the ER actually started with television shows. When I was 19 and in nursing school, I was lucky enough to land a job as a physician’s scribe in the ER. I carried around a little laptop and followed doctors for their entire shift, documenting everything so they could focus more on patient care. The job itself wasn’t glamorous, but it gave me front-row access to the real inner workings of medicine. I got to pick doctors’ brains, connect what I was learning in school to real-life patients, and ask endless questions. It was absolutely invaluable.

That job shaped what I wanted to do as a nurse. I loved the fast pace, the problem-solving, and the high stakes. In the emergency department, people come in with urgent problems that need solving right now, and it’s incredibly rewarding to help stabilize them, get them where they need to be, and then move on to the next puzzle.

The ICU was like the extended version of that same game; the stakes were higher, the timelines longer, but, unfortunately, the proportion of “wins” was smaller. ICU nursing requires an incredible level of skill and focus. The training to become an ICU nurse was honestly harder than nursing school. There are countless conditions, devices, medications, and treatments that exist only within those walls. You have to know your stuff inside and out to be any good at it. It was challenging, intense work, but I loved the complexity.

After a few years, though, I started noticing patterns that really bothered me. Most ICU patients fell into one of three categories:

– Elderly patients whose bodies were simply worn out and failing despite every intervention possible, yet their families weren’t ready to let go, so we were forced to continue aggressive care that often bordered on torture. Those cases broke my heart.

-Patients who didn’t or couldn’t follow medical recommendations, like the woman I cared for, who had a lung disease and continued smoking. She ended up on the ventilator multiple times; we’d pull her back from the brink, she’d go home, smoke, and then come right back in the same condition.

-Patients critically ill from drugs or alcohol, whom we’d fight tooth and nail to save, only to see them return again and again for the same reason.

After seeing enough of that, I began questioning whether I was truly helping people or just participating in a broken cycle. Where’s the line between helping and enabling? Between caring and medical torture? There were days when I felt like I was giving everything I had but not actually changing anything.

Then there were other moments- the ones that haunted me- when I’d help someone survive a major illness or injury, knowing their real struggle would begin once they left the hospital. Once they were discharged, there was nothing more I could do. Or I’d meet patients who’d seen four or five doctors and still had no answers. We could patch them up for the day, but by tomorrow, they’d be back at square one.

That frustration stayed with me. I kept thinking, if only I could take all the energy I spend caring for people inside the hospital and use it to help the people who are lost outside of it. But I didn’t know how to do that, or even if there was a way. For years, I wrestled with that feeling, like I was meant to do something more, but couldn’t figure out what.

Then, in 2022, I met a patient with POTS (a condition that causes the body to struggle with regulating blood pressure and heart rate). She told me it took her six years to get diagnosed after being dismissed and misdirected by countless doctors. Her mother mentioned that they had worked with an Independent Patient Advocate during that journey. I stopped her mid-sentence and said, “I’m sorry, a what?” I had never even heard that role existed.

When I learned what it was, it hit me like lightning. Advocating for patients had always been my top skill; I’d been doing it for years between managing ventilators and IV drips. You mean I could do just that as a career? I dove down the Google rabbit hole, found the advocate her family had used, and reached out to see if there was a way to work with him. I discovered that most independent advocates are self-employed, so if I wanted to do this work, I’d have to start a business- something I knew absolutely nothing about. I wasn’t so sure it would be a good idea.

Right around that time, I found out I was pregnant with our second child, our daughter, Eleanor Rose. Now, with a toddler at home & another on the way, starting a business really wasn’t a good idea, so I put the idea on the shelf.

But then, a few months later, at the end of my first trimester, we went in for a routine ultrasound. We thought we would hear our daughter’s heartbeat for the first time, but instead, it became the day we heard a new medical term for the first time: missed miscarriage. Eleanor’s little body had stopped developing a week and a half earlier, but my body hadn’t realized it. No cramping, no bleeding, no warning. We were completely blindsided and beyond devastated.

The loss of my daughter should have been the hardest part of that chapter, but the medical mismanagement that followed was what truly broke me. I never imagined how hard it would be to get the care I needed, or how much I’d have to fight for it while in the most vulnerable, shattered state of my life. Before that experience, I didn’t truly understand how exhausting it is to be the one trying to figure out every next step, or how much it can take to get medical professionals to do the right thing. I would have given anything to have someone step in and fight for me so I could just grieve and heal.

After I recovered physically and emotionally, that grief turned into fire. I told my husband, “I don’t know what this is going to look like, but I can’t put this off anymore. Someone has to do something about the quality of medical care, and if no one else will, then I will.”

CZ: What led you to the decision to start HEARD for Life? How did you determine that this was the best use of your skills and the insights you had gained?

KTR: One thing I didn’t mention earlier is that during my years as a bedside nurse, there were countless times when my direct intervention was the only thing standing between a patient and serious harm. I can’t even count how many near-misses I caught: things that, if I hadn’t spoken up, double-checked, or at times gone toe-to-toe with other members of the care team, could have caused lasting damage- or worse. That’s a heavy thing to carry, because it means on your days off, you’re still worrying about who might not have had someone there to catch it.

That constant awareness of how fragile safety is, even in a hospital, really shaped how I saw my role. It reinforced that my strongest skill wasn’t just clinical competence; it was seeing what others missed and speaking up when it mattered. But it also deepened that gnawing feeling that I needed to use those skills in a bigger way.

When I first started researching independent patient advocacy, I wanted to understand the problem I was stepping into. So I started digging into data about medical errors, and what I found absolutely shocked me. Johns Hopkins estimates that we lose around 250,000 Americans every year to preventable medical errors. Another million live with long-term complications from missed or delayed diagnoses.

And the worst part? Those are just estimates, because we don’t actually track this data. If you’re not measuring it, you can’t fix it. 

Imagine if airplanes were falling out of the sky at that rate: the FAA would ground all air travel until they figured it out. And flying is pretty much an optional activity- healthcare is not. But in healthcare, we normalize these failings. We accept them. We even hide them behind coy phrases like “these things just happen sometimes.” 

I remember standing in my kitchen reading that statistic out loud to my husband- well, yelling, actually- because I couldn’t believe we just let this happen. And that’s when the mission for HEARD for Life started to take shape, even before the name existed.

The goal became clear: to drive the number of deaths from preventable medical error as close to zero as possible.

I realized that I could use everything I’d learned in emergency and critical care (the systems thinking, the ability to spot risk patterns, the communication and coordination) to help people long before they ever reached the ICU.

So I built HEARD for Life to do exactly that: to take the kind of high-level strategy, critical thinking, and advocacy that exists in a hospital crisis and make it accessible to regular people navigating complex or confusing medical situations. It’s about bringing the voice, the perspective, and the protection of the attentive-to-details nurse who would catch what others miss, out into the real world, where it’s desperately needed.

CZ: You describe yourself as an independent patient advocate. What does that mean? How does that differ from a patient advocate or social worker you might encounter at a hospital or another clinical setting?

KTR: An independent patient advocate is exactly what it sounds like: independent. That independence is the foundation of everything, because it means I’m not tied to a hospital, insurance company, or healthcare system. My only loyalty is to the person sitting across from me. My job is to help them understand what’s really going on, explore their options, and navigate care based on what’s best for them, not what’s most convenient for the system or profitable for their insurer.

Inside hospitals, you’ll find case managers, social workers, and “patient navigators” who carry the title of advocate. They’re often compassionate and dedicated professionals, but their paycheck comes from the hospital. Their primary responsibility is to support the institution’s goals: things like managing discharges, getting insurance authorizations, and keeping patient flow efficient.

The problem is that those priorities can directly conflict with what’s best for the patient. “Efficient patient flow” sounds like good management, but in practice, it often means someone gets discharged before they’re truly ready, only to worsen at home and end up right back in the hospital. These roles aren’t designed to question medical decisions or slow things down in the name of caution; they’re designed to keep the machine running, often with an attitude of “do more with less.”

And while most hospitals technically have a “patient advocate” on staff, in all my years as a bedside nurse, I only ever saw one get involved when a family was threatening legal action. So while they may offer support, those roles ultimately exist to protect the hospital, not the patient.

That gap is exactly why the field of independent patient advocacy was born: to give patients someone in their corner who works for them, not the system. There is a national group of independent patient advocates that houses a database of independent patient advocates throughout the country. But patients and families need to be aware that anyone can list themselves and there’s no vetting of credentials involved, so it’s definintely a buyer-beware situation. But even within that growing field, I noticed another major gap early on.

Most advocates do incredible work helping clients communicate and coordinate care, but not all have the clinical training to analyze the full medical picture; to understand what’s clinically missing or what questions need to be asked. That’s the piece that’s missing almost everywhere in healthcare today: someone who can see the whole board and strategically guide the process from a medical perspective.

That’s why, although HEARD for Life falls under the umbrella of independent patient advocacy, we identify as RN Medical Strategists. To me, the word advocate means “to amplify someone’s voice,” and that is important, and a core aspect of our work at HEARD for Life. But handing someone a proverbial megaphone isn’t helpful if the train is going full steam off the tracks. What people actually need is a guide who can interpret, anticipate, and connect every moving piece of their care, then translate it into a plan that actually changes outcomes.

At HEARD for Life, that’s what we do. We combine the deep clinical insight of an experienced RN with the big-picture strategy that traditional healthcare and even most advocacy models simply don’t provide. It’s a new approach built to fill the void between what the system delivers and what patients actually need.

CZ: Tell us all about HEARD for Life. What problems does it address? What services does it provide? Can you give some examples of the clients you have helped and the situations they have faced, and the solutions you helped achieve?

KTR: HEARD for Life was built to solve one of the most overlooked problems in modern medicine — the gap between protocol-driven medical care and evidence-based, individualized medical clarity. Our healthcare system is really good at offering tests, procedures, and prescriptions. It’s built to handle common problems, things like heart attacks, broken bones, and diabetes, where there’s a clear protocol and a defined treatment path.

But when someone’s situation doesn’t fit neatly into a box, or when there are multiple conditions overlapping, that’s where the system starts to fail that individual. Those patients get bounced from one specialist to another, collecting conflicting opinions, prescriptions that may do more harm than good, and more questions than answers. Then, they’re often left trying to make sense of it all on their own.

That’s the space where we work. Our clients are people who feel like they’re being tossed around like a ping pong ball, overwhelmed by the complexity of their care, struggling to understand their options, and feeling like passengers on their own medical journey. Some have rare or confusing conditions; others already have clear diagnoses but still feel lost. The common thread is that they’re tired of feeling dismissed, disorganized, or unheard.

Our flagship service, Your Medical Roadmap, is our initial onboarding, the foundation of our work. We gather all the pieces (medical records, test results, timelines, and notes) and identify what’s missing or unclear. Then we build a customized action plan that outlines the most strategic next steps, helping clients move forward with confidence instead of confusion.

Many clients then continue with our Continuity Plan, a monthly partnership where we revisit their plan regularly, adjust strategies as things evolve, and provide ongoing support. A few examples:

-A client called us in a panic from a rehab facility. His wife was being discharged home tomorrow, even though she still couldn’t get out of bed since recovering from a fall- the very reason she’d been admitted in the first place. Sending her home would have been incredibly unsafe. We intervened, coordinated with the facility and insurance, and successfully extended her rehab stay by five full weeks, covered by insurance. When she finally went home, she was strong, safe, and didn’t experience another fall.

-Another woman had been waiting months for an MRI to investigate ongoing pain, ordered by her orthopedic specialist. She had complicating medical factors that made scheduling difficult, but through persistence, we secured an appointment within two weeks. Then she was unexpectedly hospitalized for something unrelated, and her MRI had completely fallen off everyone’s radar: the hospital didn’t know about it, and her orthopedic doctor had forgotten. We caught it, arranged transportation to have it done at another facility, then returned her to her hospital stay, and, lo and behold, it revealed a massive hip infection that required emergency surgery. Had it been missed much longer, she might not have survived.

-And then there’s Sarah’s story: It is one we often share because it perfectly captures what this work can do. By the time she came to us, she’d seen multiple specialists, undergone endless testing, and was drowning in “normal results,” but no one had been able to connect the dots. She felt like she was getting worse by the week and losing her life in front of her eyes. Through the Medical Roadmap process, we mapped out every piece of her history, uncovered key clinical patterns that had been completely overlooked, and helped her reframe her entire situation in a way that finally made sense. What came out of that work changed the direction of her care and quite literally changed her life. If you want to see exactly how that unfolded, including Sarah’s actual Roadmap, what we discovered, and how it transformed her medical journey, you can watch her full case study at heardforlife.com/see. It’s one of those stories that has to be seen to be fully understood.

In every case, our work is about transforming medical chaos into a clear, actionable plan, and making sure no one falls through the cracks of a system that isn’t built to hold them.

CZ: Some practical questions: Does HEARD for Life work with remote clients or only those who can meet with you in person? What does it cost to work with HEARD for Life? Does insurance cover any of the costs? How successful have you been in helping people with their health care problems?

KTR: HEARD for Life works with clients virtually nationwide, and that model works seamlessly. So much of what we do involves analysis, coordination, and strategy, all of which can be done remotely with the same level of depth and personalization.

Every client begins with Your Medical Roadmap. This is the foundation of everything we do. The Roadmap isn’t just another appointment; it’s a complete process that takes a full inventory of a person’s medical situation to create a strategic approach for all aspects of care moving forward. The goal is to ensure that the time, energy, and money being spent aren’t just random guesses or spaghetti thrown at the wall, but are truly focused on the steps that will make the biggest difference.

For $897, clients receive their individualized step-by-step strategy to finally understand what’s happening medically and what to do next. This includes a 90-minute deep-dive session, detailed behind-the-scenes analysis, a clear written step-by-step action plan, and a follow-up review call to adjust and refine as needed.

If you’d like to see this process in action, including an actual case study that shows what this work looks like and how it changes everything, you can visit heardforlife.com/see.

From there, many clients choose to continue through our Continuity Plan, which allows us to keep their strategy evolving month after month. The Continuity Plan includes a 45-minute strategy session each month, short phone calls, and unlimited messaging in between, so clients are never left feeling stuck or uncertain about what to do next.

That’s also where hands-on support becomes available. This can include attending medical appointments, facilitating family care meetings, managing transitions between home, hospital, or rehab, researching treatment options, coordinating communication between specialists, or tackling those time-consuming and frustrating insurance calls. In other words, clients get to focus on healing and living their lives while we handle the details that make the system so hard to navigate.

We are based on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and for clients in this area, we offer the same services with the added option of having us physically present at their home, in their provider’s office, or wherever support is needed. The work itself is the same; the only difference is whether it happens in person or virtually.

When it comes to insurance, this is where our independence matters most. Some insurance companies have recently begun to cover certain advocacy services, but those programs are extremely limited. They’re tied to specific conditions, heavily regulated, and the reimbursement rates are so low that they make meaningful work nearly impossible. That’s not surprising, because this is how health insurance operates. Whoever holds the purse strings drives the car.

That’s exactly what we’re breaking away from. In traditional medicine, your doctor’s hands are tied by what insurance allows. But when you work with HEARD for Life, you are the one driving the car. Because we’re paid directly by our clients, we can push back against denials, guide appeals, and fight for what’s right without conflict or restriction. So while not taking insurance may seem like a barrier on the surface, it’s actually what makes our model so powerful because it keeps the focus where it belongs: on the client’s best interest.

And fortunately, because all of our services are performed by Registered Nurses, they are typically reimbursable by HSA and FSA accounts.

As for success, we define it in many ways. Sometimes it’s medical breakthroughs, like the client whose rare condition was finally identified through our work- a diagnosis that likely saved her life.

Other times, success looks like clarity and peace. One family called us in distress, convinced their loved one’s hospital had failed her. She was in her 30s, hospitalized with what they believed was treatable liver failure, and they wanted help getting her transferred to a higher level of care. But when we reviewed her chart, it became clear that she was in end-stage liver disease, something she had quietly managed for years without her family knowing.

Through multiple conversations with her husband and mother-in-law, we laid out what pursuing aggressive treatment would actually mean: the extreme procedures, the poor odds, the suffering she’d face to even be considered for transplant. Once they truly understood, they made the informed choice to shift to comfort care. She passed peacefully, and her family, though heartbroken, had complete peace knowing they had done everything possible for her. In their words, that peace was “worth every penny.”

That’s what success looks like to us. Sometimes it’s saving a life. Sometimes it’s saving a family from regret. Every time, it’s about bringing clarity, confidence, and peace back into situations where chaos once reigned. Because when medical decisions carry life-or-death consequences, guessing your way through them isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s dangerous. Having clear information and a sound strategy is what allows people to make decisions they can stand behind, knowing they did everything possible with the truth in front of them.

CZ: Have you worked with older adults and their family members? Do older clients have particular problems that you can help solve? Can you work with family members on behalf of older clients? What if the older client lacks decision-making capacity and can’t work with you? Will you then be able to work with involved family or caregivers?

KTR: Yes, absolutely. We work with many older adults and their families; in fact, this is one of the areas where our work makes the biggest difference. Older clients often face layers of complexity that go far beyond their medical diagnoses. There are medications, mobility challenges, cognitive changes, and multiple specialists involved, but there are also questions about safety, support, and living arrangements. All of those pieces affect one another, and without someone looking at the full picture, it’s easy for things to spiral out of control.

A large portion of our clients are solo agers; people who don’t have an immediate family support system, or members of the sandwich generation, juggling their own kids and responsibilities while also caring for aging parents. In both cases, the lack of built-in support tends to amplify the gaps the healthcare system already creates. We step in to bring structure, clarity, and strategy to situations that otherwise feel overwhelming or isolating.

A big part of what we do is help families see the whole situation clearly. Sometimes that means clarifying what’s medically realistic and what isn’t. Other times, it’s helping navigate logistics; determining the right level of care, coordinating transitions safely, or guiding difficult conversations about what happens next.

We frequently work with family members on behalf of an older loved one, but it’s important to note that we don’t make medical or legal decisions for anyone. We are not a medical power of attorney, and we don’t function in that capacity. Instead, we partner with the designated decision-maker, whether that’s a spouse, adult child, or legal guardian, to make sure they fully understand the medical situation and the implications of each choice. When appropriate, we also collaborate with professionals who do hold or manage powers of attorney to ensure everyone is working from the same page.

When an older adult is still able to communicate and participate, we make sure their voice leads the process. But when cognitive decline, illness, or incapacity becomes a factor, we pivot to supporting the family or legal decision-maker, helping them make informed, ethical, and compassionate decisions that honor their loved one’s best interests and wishes.

In those cases, we act as the bridge between family, providers, and care facilities. We translate medical jargon into plain language, identify what’s missing, and make sure everyone involved is aligned around the same goals. That kind of clarity helps families feel confident that they’re not missing something critical or being pressured into decisions that don’t sit right.

Older adults face unique barriers in today’s system: rushed appointments, quick discharges, limited follow-up, and assumptions that family can fill in the gaps. We close those gaps by making sure care plans are realistic, safe, and sustainable, and that everyone involved understands exactly what’s happening and why.

CZ: Do you work with clients and families on issues involving long-term care?

KTR: Yes, we do. While HEARD for Life doesn’t specialize exclusively in long-term care, a client’s living situation is always a key part of their overall medical strategy. Where and how someone lives directly affects their health, safety, and access to care, so it’s impossible to build an effective medical plan without factoring that in.

We’ve supported clients in a wide variety of settings; at home, in skilled nursing facilities, in assisted living, and during transitions between them. These are often some of the most stressful and confusing times for families, because the clinical, financial, and emotional pieces are all intertwined.

Sometimes that means helping a family navigate whether it’s time to transition from home to long-term care; weighing the medical realities, financial implications, and emotional readiness. Other times, it’s intervening when something has gone wrong, such as a facility trying to discharge a patient before it’s safe, or policies being applied incorrectly.

For example, we’ve worked with clients whose long-term care facility was attempting to move forward with actions that weren’t legal or appropriate, and we pushed back until the situation was corrected. I’ve also advocated for clients who were being pressured into discharge plans that would have put them at risk of harm. 

Our goal in all of these situations is the same: to ensure that every decision is medically sound, ethically appropriate, and truly in the best interest of the client. Whether we’re working with families trying to find the right facility, supporting transitions between levels of care, or addressing issues within a current placement, our role is to bring structure, strategy, and advocacy to a system that often feels stacked against the patient. 

CZ: How does your work differ from hiring an attorney?

KTR: It depends on what kind of attorney you mean. If you are talking about an elder law attorney, our roles complement each other but do not overlap. I do not help people apply for Medicaid or set up trusts or other legal documents. What I do is make sure those conversations happen at the right time and connect clients to attorneys when they are needed.

Where I go much deeper is in the area of advance directives. While that document is technically legal, it is a medical conversation first. In my opinion, attorneys have no business advising someone on life-sustaining treatment because those decisions are based on complex medical realities, not just legal forms. I have incredibly detailed conversations with clients about what those choices really mean in real-world situations. Most people say something like, “I would not want to live as a vegetable,” but life and death decisions are rarely that black and white. Your medical decision-maker will probably be faced with a very gray situation where the medical team is asking whether to continue aggressive measures or shift to comfort care. That is why we created a self-paced guide at HEARD for Life that walks people through all the medical, ethical, and personal factors they should consider when preparing for those moments.

If you are talking about a medical malpractice attorney, the difference is timing and purpose. Attorneys step in after harm has occurred, when it is already too late to prevent it. And the truth is, most malpractice cases never even make it to court because the legal threshold for proving negligence is so high. Even if a case is successful, there is nothing an attorney can do to fix the damage that has already been done.

Our work is the opposite. We are not fighting doctors or hospitals for money; we are fighting for better care. HEARD for Life exists to help people avoid reaching the point where malpractice becomes a question in the first place. We identify risks early, intervene quickly, and prevent harm before it happens. Attorneys operate reactively, after the fact. We work proactively to keep people safe and informed. 

CZ: How do health care providers react to your involvement in a situation? Do they welcome the help you are providing, or do they become defensive?

KTR: Surprisingly, I was prepared for much more defensiveness than I have actually encountered. I always approach every situation by making it clear that I am there to help. I never blame individual doctors or nurses for what is happening because the truth is, most of them already know the system is broken.

The healthcare system is not set up for patients, and it is not set up for providers either. No good doctor wants to rush through fifteen-minute appointments all day. They know quality is being affected, and when they meet a patient who is taking proactive steps to safeguard their health, it is often a relief for them, not a threat.

Even in situations where tension could be high, collaboration usually wins out. For example, I mentioned a situation with a rehab facility that was trying to push an unsafe discharge for a new client of mine. I called the social worker and told her I bet she had more than her fair share on her plate, and that I knew we both wanted the same thing, which was what was best for the patient. From that point forward, she was grateful to have me involved. She said it was a relief to have someone who could act as a bridge between her and the family, who had been yelling at her before I got involved.

That is what I see most often. Once providers understand that I am not there to point fingers but to connect the dots, they tend to welcome the collaboration. They recognize that our involvement helps everyone work toward the same goal, which is delivering safer, higher-quality care with less chaos for everyone involved.

CZ: What do you see as the most challenging aspect of getting quality health care for older adults in today’s health care environment? What advice do you have for older adults who have difficulty understanding their options, accessing a physician, paying for their care, or getting care in their homes?

KTR: The biggest challenge for older adults today is that the healthcare system they’re relying on was never actually designed for the kind of care they need. It’s set up for efficiency, not continuity; for quick fixes, not big-picture solutions. Older adults often have multiple specialists, multiple prescriptions, and multiple chronic conditions, but no one is looking at how all of those moving parts interact. That’s where so many problems begin.

Appointments are short. Communication between providers is fragmented. Insurance dictates what’s “covered,” not what’s appropriate. And when something slips through the cracks (a missed medication, a poorly timed discharge, or a misunderstood diagnosis), it’s usually the patient who pays the price.

What makes this even harder for older adults is that the system assumes they have a built-in support network to fill in the gaps: someone to coordinate appointments, ask questions, or notice when something doesn’t make sense. But for solo agers, or for adult children already stretched thin caring for their own families, that assumption creates a dangerous void.

My biggest piece of advice for older adults and their families is to be proactive instead of reactive. Don’t wait for a crisis to start asking questions. A few practical strategies that make a big difference:

-Bring someone with you to every appointment. Even if it’s just by speakerphone, having another set of ears ensures that nothing gets missed and you can review the information together later.

-Keep an up-to-date medication card in your wallet listing all current prescriptions, doses, and allergies. This simple step can prevent medication errors in an emergency.

-Get a second opinion any time surgery is recommended or when something about your care plan feels unclear. A confident provider will welcome it — and sometimes, that second opinion completely changes the direction of care.

-Start Medicaid planning early. Many families don’t realize that Medicare does not cover assisted living or long-term nursing home care. Waiting until a crisis to start the Medicaid process can limit your options or delay access to help when you need it most.

It’s also important to think about how all of your medical information is being tracked and communicated. Make sure each of your providers knows what the others are doing, and keep your own records whenever possible: test results, discharge paperwork, imaging reports, and medication lists. You are your own best historian.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help before things reach a breaking point. Most people think about medical advocacy only after something has already gone wrong, but having support in place before that point can completely change the outcome.

That’s really where HEARD for Life comes in: not just to fix what’s gone wrong, but to help people build systems of clarity and prevention. Because when all the pieces of your care are working together, you’re not just getting better healthcare, you’re protecting your future.

CZ: What is the most practical advice you have to offer when patients or involved caregivers have trouble accessing care, understanding their options, or paying for help?

KTR: When people are struggling to access or afford care, the first thing I tell them is this: you don’t need to know everything, you just need to know where the gaps are. The most dangerous thing in healthcare isn’t making the wrong decision; it’s not realizing what you don’t know.

Here are a few practical steps I recommend to nearly everyone who finds themselves stuck or overwhelmed:

-Start by getting organized. Keep one folder (digital or physical) that holds your medical records, test results, appointment summaries, and medication lists. You can’t advocate for yourself if your information is scattered.

-Write down every question before your appointments. It’s easy to get flustered in the moment, especially when emotions are high or the provider is rushed. Having your questions ready keeps you focused on what really matters.

-Ask your doctor, “What happens if we do nothing?” It’s one of the simplest but most clarifying questions you can ask. It helps you understand the real urgency of a situation — and it often reveals whether aggressive treatment is truly necessary.

-Never agree to a procedure or treatment plan you don’t understand. If something doesn’t make sense, ask for an explanation in plain English. And if it still doesn’t feel right, get a second opinion, even if that means stepping outside your current health system.

-When cost is the barrier, don’t assume there’s no way forward. Hospitals often have financial assistance programs, and many specialists offer self-pay rates that are far lower than insurance pricing. The key is to ask, document, and persist.

-If the challenge is paying for caregiving help, start by understanding what resources already exist. Medicare does not cover long-term caregivers or in-home support, but some state Medicaid programs and Veterans benefits do. For those who do not qualify, local Area Agency on Aging, faith-based organizations, and disease-specific foundations sometimes offer grants or volunteer support for respite care. Some families share the cost among siblings or tap into long-term care insurance benefits if they are available. The earlier you explore options, the more choices you will have.

-When communication breaks down, ask for a care conference. Most facilities can arrange a meeting between the care team and family. Having everyone in one room (or on one call) prevents mixed messages and keeps the focus on what’s best for the patient.

-And above all, don’t try to go it alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a family member, or someone like us at HEARD for Life, having another person to help navigate the system, ask questions, and interpret information is not a sign of weakness; it’s one of the smartest things you can do.

Healthcare is complex, but clarity is possible. Once you start putting structure around the chaos, organizing information, asking better questions, and bringing the right support into the picture, the whole system becomes a lot less intimidating, and the next steps become much clearer.

CZ: What’s the best way for agebuzz readers to get in touch with you to explore your services and find out if you might be of help to them?

KTR: For anyone who’s just starting to explore what we do, the best way to connect is simply to find HEARD for Life online. You can follow us on Facebook or Instagram, and you can also listen to our podcast, Scripts and Referrals, on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Each week, we share real stories, powerful insights, and practical strategies to help people cut through the noise of the healthcare system and take back control of their care.

If you’re curious whether HEARD for Life might be the right fit for your situation, the best next step is to visit heardforlife.com/see. There, you can see exactly how our process works — including a full behind-the-scenes look at one client’s Medical Roadmap and how it transformed her care.

Whether you’re managing your own medical complexity, helping a loved one, or just trying to make sense of it all, HEARD for Life was built for you. 

Every year, over a million people are harmed or killed by preventable medical errors- not from lack of medicine, but from lack of coordination & clarity. That’s why HEARD for Life exists: to make sure you never become one of them. 

CZ: Any last words of wisdom or advice for AgeBuzz readers?

KTR: If there is one thing I want people to take away, it is that you cannot afford to be passive in your own medical story. The system is not designed to catch every detail or coordinate every moving part. That responsibility, unfortunately, falls on patients and families, whether they realize it or not.

You do not have to know all the answers, but you do have to pay attention. Keep your information organized, ask questions until you understand, and do not let anyone rush you into decisions that do not feel right.

And if you ever feel like you are being dismissed, ignored, or pushed along without clarity, take that feeling seriously. That confusion is not yours to fix alone; it is a signal that you need a strategy, not just sympathy.

At HEARD for Life, we believe that healthcare does not have to feel like chaos. Clarity is not a luxury; it is the foundation for safety, peace, and better outcomes. Every person deserves to be truly heard, and that starts the moment you decide to stop chasing doctors and start getting answers.