The evidence is in. Being a grandparent and spending time with grandchildren can not only be pleasurable but can also benefit your physical and cognitive health. But not all of us have the opportunity to spend time and share experiences with grandchildren. For some, the geographic distance makes that difficult. Others have no adult children or know that their children will not be bringing grandchildren into this world. And some are sadly estranged from their children and grandchildren, so the opportunity to spend time together is missing. Whatever the case, if you find yourself without grandchildren in your life but crave the chance to share the love, affection, and nurturing that can come with spending time with children, there is another path for you- surrogate grandparenting.

Recently, agebuzz Managing Editor Connie Zuckerman had the chance to interview Donna Skora, the founder of Surrogate Grandparents-USA. The story of Donna’s own life and the participants in her program are uplifting and inspiring. Might this be the way for you to find the relationship you’ve been wishing for? Find out more by reading Donna’s story and her words of advice:

Connie Zuckerman (CZ): Donna, could you give us a little background about yourself? Where do you live? Your professional work before retirement? Your family situation?

Donna Skora (DS): My husband and I have been married for 53 years, and for the past 40 years we’ve called Florida home. Before retiring, I enjoyed a long and fulfilling career as a paralegal and legal assistant, working for a number of law firms over the years. We are blessed with two adult children—a son and a daughter. Our daughter remains especially close to us. Though she is unmarried and, given her age, unlikely to have children, the bond we share with her continues to be a great source of love and joy in our lives.

CZ: Can you describe the origins of Surrogate Grandparents – USA? What prompted you to start the organization? What were your original goals?

DS: We became victims of Grandparent Alienation Syndrome when our son and his wife estranged themselves from the entire family. His wife also had a son from a previous marriage — about 8 years old at the time — and we quickly came to love him as our own grandchild. When she became pregnant, we were thrilled and were looking forward to welcoming a new grandchild into our lives. But during the pregnancy, there were troubling signs: hurtful comments, passive-aggressive behavior, and emotional distance. When the time came for our daughter-in-law to be induced, our son did reach out to let us know. However, we were unable to make the 90-minute drive to the hospital for the birth. We fully intended to visit once they were home.

Tragically, that wasn’t good enough. Shortly afterward, our son sent a devastating text stating: “You’ve lost a son, a grandson, and a nephew,” referring to himself, his newborn, and the step-grandson we had come to love. And was further advised that grandparents have no rights. From that moment on, all communication ceased. We tried sending cards and checks for birthdays and holidays — all returned. I left voicemails and messages begging for a chance to talk, to ask for forgiveness, to reconcile — all met with silence. The grief was suffocating. As an additional note, our daughter-in-law estranged her son from her first marriage—not only from his paternal grandmother (her ex-husband’s mother) but also from his entire extended paternal family—from the age of 4 to 14.  

In my prayers, I began asking God to help me find a way to turn this heartbreak into something that could help not only us but others as well. And slowly, that answer came.

I began volunteering at our local Women’s and Children’s Hospital, cuddling babies in the NICU — many of them born to mothers addicted to drugs. I would whisper to these tiny souls about their guardian angels — asking them where in the room their angel might be — and often, their eyes would open and smile, as if they really did see someone there. It was a beautiful, unforgettable experience that brought light into a very dark time. Still, I searched for something more — something to help bridge the gap between loving grandparents and children in need of that love. I found a UK-based Facebook group called Surrogate Grandparents, which inspired me. I searched for a similar resource within the United States, but the only site I found, which was on the Internet, had shut down.

That’s when I decided: If no such space existed, I would create one. In January 2015, I launched Surrogate Grandparents – USA on Facebook — a place where grandparents and families could connect, support each other, and possibly build new, meaningful surrogate relationships. I started small, inviting friends and family. I promoted the group through Facebook ads and posted across media pages in every U.S. state. By June 2015, we had 30 members. Today, a little more than 10 years later, we are nearly 13,500 strong. How can I not believe that this was an answer to my prayers?

CZ: Surrogate Grandparents- USA is a private Facebook group. What does that mean? Is anyone eligible to join? What are the requirements for joining? Is there a cost involved? Who would most benefit from being involved with Surrogate Grandparents – USA?

DS: Surrogate Grandparents – USA is a private Facebook group, which means that while the group can be found in searches, only approved members can see who’s in it and what they share. This provides a safe, supportive environment for everyone involved.

Eligibility: Membership is open to individuals and families across the United States who are seeking meaningful connections between generations. This includes older adults who would like to share their love, guidance, and experience with younger families, as well as parents and children looking for the warmth and support of a grandparent figure.  

Requirements: To join, interested individuals must request membership through Facebook and answer a couple of screening questions. This helps ensure the group remains safe, respectful, and in line with its mission of building positive, family-like connections.

Cost: There is no cost to join the group. Participation is completely free.

Who Benefits Most:

-Grandparent-aged adults who may be missing close contact with grandchildren, or who want to make a difference in younger lives.

-Parents and children who do not have grandparents nearby, or who are looking for additional loving and supportive figures in their lives.

-Young adults from foster care backgrounds seeking lasting, caring connections.

-Families touched by grandparent alienation who want to create new, positive connections and community.  

In short, Surrogate Grandparents – USA is about bridging the gap between generations, offering love, wisdom, and belonging to those who need it most.

CZ: What services does Surrogate Grandparents – USA provide? Do you have to be an existing grandparent? Do you have to be able to participate in activities in real life? Or are there online opportunities as well? How does someone get matched with another family in their local community? What are the expectations for those who become members?

DS: Surrogate Grandparents – USA is a supportive online community that helps bring together generations who are seeking family-like connections. While the group itself doesn’t directly provide professional “services,” it does offer:

-A safe, private space on Facebook to connect and share experiences.

-Opportunities for older adults, parents, children, and young adults to meet and form supportive relationships.

-Guidance, encouragement, and resources on how to build and nurture healthy surrogate grandparent–grandchild bonds.

Do You Have to Be an Existing Grandparent?

No. Many of our members are grandparent-aged adults who simply want to share their love, wisdom, and life experience, even if they don’t have grandchildren of their own.

In-Person or Online, connections can take many forms:

-In real life: Families and grandparents in the same local area may choose to meet in person for visits, outings, or family activities.

-Online: For those who live far apart, there are also meaningful ways to connect virtually—video calls, phone conversations, letters, and care packages are all wonderful options.

How Matching Works: 

While the group does not act as a formal “matching service,” members are encouraged to:

-Introduce themselves in the group.

-Share what kind of connection they’re seeking.

-Connect with others who respond or seem like a good fit.

-Take conversations to private messages and decide together how to move forward.

It’s about building relationships naturally, with safety and mutual comfort always coming first.

Expectations for Members:

-Be kind, respectful, and supportive.

-Honor boundaries and keep communication safe and positive.

-Participate at your own comfort level—there’s no requirement for how active you must be.

-Remember that the group is a starting place for connections, not a guarantee or professional service.

CZ: Your organization has been mentioned by such publications and media sources as CBS News, Fast Company, Oprah, and Wired, among others. And according to your website, you now have over 13,000 members. Why do you think you’ve become so recognized? It feels like you’ve identified a real need in our country. Can you describe some of the “success” stories that have arisen as a result of Surrogate Grandparents- USA?

DS: I believe Surrogate Grandparents – USA has received recognition from outlets like CBS News, Fast Company, Oprah Daily, and Wired because it addresses a very real and often overlooked need in today’s society: the loss of intergenerational connection.  Families are often spread out, grandparents can be estranged or unavailable, and many older adults are yearning for the joy of being part of a child’s life.  At the same time, parents and children are missing the guidance, stability, and love that grandparents traditionally provide.

By offering a safe, private space where people can come together and form these relationships, we’ve helped fill a gap that touches thousands of lives across the country. Our growth to over 13,000 members shows just how widespread this need truly is.

Success Stories

While every connection looks different, here are a few examples of the heartwarming outcomes we’ve seen:

-A widowed grandmother in Florida who hadn’t seen her own grandchildren in years was “adopted” by a local family. She now attends their holiday gatherings and school events, and says it has given her “a reason to look forward again.”

-A young single mother in California, raising her son without extended family nearby, connected with a retired couple in her area. They now meet weekly for dinner, and the couple helps with school pick-ups and birthday celebrations.

-A young woman who aged out of foster care in her early 20s found a “grandma” through the group. They started with video calls and letter exchanges, and now visit in person several times a year. She describes it as “the first time I’ve felt like I truly belong to a family.”

-Several members who live far apart have built meaningful virtual bonds—sharing stories, celebrating milestones over Zoom, sending care packages, and even planning future in-person visits.

These are just a few of the many ways people have rediscovered the joy of family through Surrogate Grandparents – USA.

CZ: What are the most common reasons for people to join your organization? What do members say they are searching for when joining?

DS: The most common reasons people join our community usually center around connection, family, and belonging. Life circumstances today often leave people without the support systems that used to come naturally through extended families and close-knit communities. Our members come seeking to fill those gaps.

For grandparent-aged adults:

-They may be estranged from or live far away from their biological grandchildren.

-Some never had children or grandchildren of their own but long to share their love, wisdom, and traditions.

-Others are simply looking for a way to stay active, purposeful, and connected with younger generations.

For parents and families:

-Many are raising children without grandparents nearby.

-Some parents are estranged from their own parents and want their children to experience the joy of a grandparent figure.

-Single parents, especially, often say they’re looking for “extra hands and hearts” to support them and enrich their children’s lives.

For young adults (such as those aging out of foster care):

-They’re searching for the unconditional love and support of a family they may never have had.

-They want guidance, encouragement, and someone to celebrate life milestones with them.

When new members join, the words we hear most often are:

• “Love”
• “Connection”
• “Family”
• “Belonging”
• “Support”
• “Someone to share life with.”

At its heart, Surrogate Grandparents – USA is about meeting those deeply human needs—building bridges between people who might otherwise feel alone, and creating a family where it’s missing.

CZ: There are always concerns that older adults online may be vulnerable to scams or exploitation. How does your organization address that so that older members can be sure that the families with whom they connect are real and actually looking for a relationship?

DS: We understand that older adults can be vulnerable to scams or exploitation online, and we take those concerns very seriously at Surrogate Grandparents – USA. Our goal is to create a safe, supportive space where genuine connections can grow.  Here’s how we address safety:

Private, Screened Membership

-Our group is private, meaning only approved members can see posts and interactions.

-Every member request goes through an application process with screening questions. This helps us ensure that those joining understand our mission and are sincerely interested in family-like relationships—not anything inappropriate.

Active Moderation

-Our admin team carefully monitors posts and member behavior.

-Anyone violating our rules or showing red flags (such as solicitation, harassment, or suspicious activity) is removed immediately.

Education and Awareness

-We remind members never to share personal or financial information with people they meet online and have posted featured safety tips.

-We encourage everyone to take their time, get to know others gradually, and use tools like video calls before meeting in person.

Encouraging Safe Connections

-Members are encouraged to meet in public places first if they choose to connect offline.

-We stress the importance of clear communication, boundaries, and moving forward at a pace that feels safe for everyone involved.

Building Real Relationships

Because the group is built around storytelling, introductions, and shared experiences, members naturally get a sense of who is genuine before deeper connections form.  Over the years, many authentic and lasting bonds have grown from this process—proof that with care and caution, beautiful surrogate family ties can be built safely.  At its core, Surrogate Grandparents – USA is about love and belonging—but safety will always remain a top priority.

CZ: Can you describe what kinds of activities surrogate grandparents engage in with their surrogate grandchildren? Do you need to be able to spend a lot of money or be very physically active to participate and create a relationship with the kids?

DS: One of the most beautiful parts of being a surrogate grandparent is that there’s no single “right” way to connect. Relationships are built on love, consistency, and presence—not money or grand gestures. Activities can be as simple or as creative as you and your surrogate family wish.

Common Activities Include:

-Reading together (in person or over video calls).

-Sharing stories about family history, traditions, or “when I was your age.”

-Cooking or baking favorite recipes, or teaching a child a simple dish.

-Attending school events, sports games, or recitals to cheer kids on.

-Crafts, puzzles, gardening, or board games—quiet activities that encourage conversation and bonding.

-Celebrating holidays or birthdays with small traditions like cards, video calls, or a shared meal.

-Phone calls, Zoom chats, or writing letters for families who live farther apart. Kids often treasure having a “pen pal grandparent.”

Do You Need to Spend a Lot of Money or Be Very Active?  Not at all. The heart of this relationship is time, attention, and care.

-Children value presence and consistency more than expensive gifts or outings.

-Many surrogate grandparents have health limitations, and that’s completely okay—quiet activities, conversations, and sharing wisdom can be just as impactful as trips to the park.

-For those who do enjoy outings, simple things like a walk, a picnic, or a trip to the library are wonderful.

In the end, what children remember most is feeling loved, supported, and “seen.” Surrogate grandparents provide that in countless ways, regardless of budget or physical ability.

CZ: If someone wants to find out more about Surrogate Grandparents – USA or to contact you to get additional information, what would be the best way to reach out?

DS: For more information about Surrogate Grandparents – USA, or to learn how to get involved, they can contact us directly at [email protected]

CZ: Any last words of advice or support you’d like to share with agebuzz readers who might want to give this a try?

DS: If anyone is considering becoming a surrogate grandparent or inviting one into your family, my advice is simple: take the leap with an open heart. These relationships aren’t about perfection—they’re about presence, love, and connection.

You don’t need to spend a lot of money, be perfectly active, or have any special skills. What matters most is your willingness to listen, care, and be consistent. Even small gestures—a phone call, a story, a shared meal—can create memories that last a lifetime.

For those looking to join Surrogate Grandparents – USA, know that you’re stepping into a safe, supportive community where genuine connections are valued above all else. Many of our members say the experience has not only enriched the children’s lives but also brought new joy, purpose, and meaning to their own.

In short: love has no age limit, and family can be created in so many beautiful ways.