By Susanna P. Barton
One of the healthiest mindsets we can embrace as we age is an others-focused attitude – seeking connections and service instead of sinking into self. With loneliness at an all-time high, volunteer participation falling, and intergenerational relationships demonstrating reciprocal health benefits, the time has never been better for older adults to get out of the me-zone and into some lifechanging do unto others.
Before we explore ways to up our volunteer and relationship ante, let’s unpack what’s at stake if we don’t. New research has shown loneliness is one of the biggest risks adults of all ages face as they move into the second half of life. A May 2024 study by the Making Caring Common Project at the Harvard Graduate School of Education indicates more than 21 percent of adults “feel lonely, with many respondents feeling disconnected from friends, family, and/or the world.” Interestingly, this study shows adults age 65+ are the least lonely: “When asked, ‘In the past 30 days, how often have you felt lonely?” 21% of adult respondents said “frequently” (15%) or “almost all of the time/always” (6%). Respondents aged 65 and over were much less likely to be lonely (10%) compared to other age groups. But the fact that all adults are struggling with loneliness is a bellwether of an epidemic, a word used to describe the status of loneliness in America today.
Statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveal an even more alarming reality. About 1 in 3 adults in the United States reports feeling lonely or socially isolated, with about 1 in 4 American adults reporting a dearth of social and emotional support. This puts a person “at risk of developing serious mental and physical health conditions,” as the CDC underscored in its report.
According to the CDC, social isolation and loneliness can increase a person’s risk for:
Whatever your age, the more socially isolated and disconnected you are, the more perilous your life experience becomes. And if this is just “the tip of the iceberg,” as the Harvard study suggests, then now is the time to make sure you won’t be another statistic by plugging into more support networks, seeking ways to volunteer time for others, and connecting with people of all ages.
Volunteering is a great place to start filling the void. Not only is it good for your health, but it’s good for the universe! Plus, it can actually slow your biological aging, according to a January 2024 study in Social Science and Medicine. An MSN story boils down the benefits of volunteering, explaining “people who volunteered for one to four hours per week experienced slower biological aging compared to those who didn’t volunteer at all… Retirees seemed to benefit the most, with a stronger association between volunteering and slower aging than current members of the workforce, even with as little as one hour of volunteering a week. Also, the more someone volunteered, the more pronounced the health impact became. Volunteering more than four hours a week was associated with the greatest reduction in biological age acceleration, regardless of one’s work status.”
The Corporation for National and Community Service (CNCS), the federal agency responsible for the nation’s volunteer and service efforts, released a report in 2019 indicating that consistent volunteering can improve the health and well-being of people 55 and older.
“The study examined how participation in national service contributes to changes in health and well-being of Senior Corps volunteers in the Senior Companion and Foster Grandparent programs, who help home-bound seniors maintain independence and tutor and mentor at-risk youth, respectively. A companion study explored the health benefits to caregivers who receive support from Senior Corps Senior Companion volunteers. According to this research, Senior Corps volunteers report much higher self-rated health scores, which is considered a valid marker of actual health, compared to older adults in similar circumstances who do not volunteer. They also reported feeling significantly less depressed and isolated compared to non-volunteers.”
The study also found:
These are convincing statistics! Now that we know volunteering is good for us, how do we take the steps to become more involved? This is the easy part – volunteer opportunities exist all around us. Not only can they be discovered through local nonprofits, community organizations, churches, clubs, and special interest groups, but they also manifest in our own homes, families, neighborhoods, and friend groups. You don’t have to look far and wide to find a need and help meet it.
Here are a few ways to seek out volunteer opportunities:
The possibilities and opportunities for volunteering are truly endless. The most important step is to make time for quiet reflection on issues, people, and missions that are most important to you.
Thwarting loneliness through heightened community service efforts is a game-changer. And so is establishing relationships with people of all ages. The bigger and broader your support network, the less chance there is for ruinous disconnection to disrupt your second half. Even more specifically, some studies show that making intergenerational connections is the best way to plug in. Let’s talk about why having friends and family of all ages is a smart move.
A June 2016 study from the Stanford Center on Longevity called “Hidden in Plain Sight: How Intergenerational Relationships Can Transform our Future” says maintaining a support network that includes people older and younger – pairing “great potential with great experience” – can be transformative, for both generations.
The study says, “Older adults can help young people develop their talents and knowledge, and can advise on relationships and daily life conflicts. Importantly, their years of living give them an almost intangible ability to communicate and model non-cognitive skills and to help young people develop those key traits. The perspective that comes with age, and their focus on what matters, helps older adults to nurture the development of social skills and a sense of purpose among young people with whom they form meaningful relationships. And the benefits are not one-directional. Research shows that pairing young and older people has positive consequences for each. In promoting the well-being of the next generation, older adults experience fulfillment and purpose in their own lives. This mutual benefit is perhaps the most compelling reason for programs that connect young and old.”
Relationships with younger people can be mutually beneficial. Younger folks can gain experience and knowledge from older friends, while older adults can learn a lot about technology, current trends, useful advancements, and new ideas from those in the throes of it. Generation Z can be a very helpful resource, according to this article in the New York Times.
In a 2019 article in “Greater Good Magazine,” author Marc Freedman explains the critical nature of intergenerational interactions:
“As I recount in my new book, How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations, when younger and older connect, the intergenerational relationships built are a route to success in early life and a key to happiness and well-being in our later years.”
That’s a powerful promise! Freedman suggests six ways to better connect with younger people, including combining purpose and a paycheck, getting proximate, listening up, finding creative ways to connect, and living on by letting go.
This doesn’t mean you have to go out and join a particular intergenerational tutoring program, volunteer at a school, or become a teacher. Relationships with younger people can be found in your backyard or down the street. You may have younger children, grandchildren, or special friends who could benefit from more time and direction from you. Your unique experiences and investment of time, resources, or finances can enrich a younger person’s life!
You won’t be alone in your spending. An April 2019 study from AARP suggested grandparents spend approximately $179 billion per year on their grandchildren, roughly $2,562 per grandparent, on everything from gifts to education to experiences.
“The AARP survey revealed that while grandparents make important financial contributions to their grandchildren, they share wisdom and guidance. Many say they relish advising on everything from health to education, thereby providing a moral compass and emotional and social support. Grandparents also contribute to their grandchildren’s well-being by babysitting or by acting as their primary caregivers. One in 10 lives in the same household as their grandchildren and babysit, and 5% of grandparents provide their grandchildren’s primary care, according to the nationally representative sample. A strong majority (73%) of the grandparents surveyed enjoy their role and rate their performance as high, up from 66% in 2011,” the AARP study report read.
I have many fond memories from trips my grandparents sponsored when I was a teenager. They were rabid Love Boat fans, and, as such, they took us on Princess cruises all over the world – from Hawaii to Norway to the Caribbean. We saw so much! They also squirreled money away to help pay for college and life beyond. They babysat us occasionally and maintained a weekend retreat outside of town so we could all be together in peace and quiet most weekends. These investments made a difference! They shaped my life in significant ways!
But I also appreciate the little, no-cost ways they influenced our lives. I remember learning a lot about life watching the evening news with them, and later “Dallas” and “Fantasy Island” while my grandmother scratched my back and told me how I had the driest skin she’d ever touched, and did I want some Lubriderm. My other grandmother supported us with fresh socks from Bill’s Dollar Store and handwritten scripture sent through the mail. She made us goulash when she came to visit, she prayed for us, and took us to church. Those also were incredibly meaningful acts.
So, as you think of ways to connect with and inspire relationships with people of all generations, start with the free stuff, and dedicate yourself to it; this is such significant work.
Connections, relationships, and volunteer efforts are some of the most meaningful and healthy strengths we can hone as we age. Not only do they create mutually beneficial bonds and make you feel good, but they are guaranteed to keep loneliness at bay. And most importantly, they are at the foundation of making the world a much better, happier more peaceful place. Make today the day you do unto others!
Susanna Barton, a member of Jacksonville Mayor Donna Degan’s subcommittee on elder care, has worked as a professional writer in Jacksonville for nearly 30 years and is the founder of the Grand Plans online community, podcast, newsletter, and blog. Her book Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner, are available in local stores and on Amazon. For more information, visit http://www.mygrandplans.com.
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