Being Alone With Your Heart And Mind By Louise Applebome

By Louise Applebome

Connie Zuckerman, the warm, wonderful, and industrious woman who feeds the agebuzz beast with important and relevant data, food for thought, and information each week, wrote to me recently to inquire about my well-being. Her “check-in” had been triggered by my less-frequent posts here on the agebuzz website. 

I’ve had a blog here for more than a year. 

I confess, my blogs have become fewer and farther between. 

Connie was not meaning to apply pressure or to demand I increase my contributions but was genuinely concerned that something might be up.

Well, she was right…and wrong.  

In fact, nothing special is “up.” My fewer posts were due, in part, to competing commitments, resulting in less time to devote to the blog. My volunteer projects are eating up more and more of my time. They’re labors of love, so I’m not conflicted about that. I also decided to give my house a bit of a makeover and a sprucing up. That meant taking the time to parse my finances to see how much discretionary money could be dedicated to home repairs and painting. Then there were weeks of trying to decide what to do where and in what colors, etc. Next up were two-plus weeks of workers in and out of my house, naturally throwing everything into a state of total disarray. 

Amidst the upheaval, I continued to teach my Zoom yoga classes from my house. Nothing like a little smoke and mirrors to hide the clutter and the clamor from my students, beaming in from yoga mats near and far. I’ve heard from so many of my students that our Zoom yoga classes together have helped them tremendously since March 2020 and during the COVID epidemic.

So, although I make sure to take time off for myself, and my students honor my decision to cancel classes here and there, canceling during the redo here at home didn’t seem like justification enough to call classes off. There were workarounds and I found them. Plus, selfishly, the classes always did me good, as I was in need of breaks and respites from the domestic disruption and rescuing from potentially pulling my hair out or losing my cool.  

So with home improvement projects, work/teaching, keeping up with friends and family, tax preparation, volunteering, and the banal day-to-day tasks of a single woman running a household, finding time to write blog posts had become a bigger challenge. 

The time devoted to my own private, personal yoga practice also got short shrift. Mea culpa.

LESSONS LEARNED AGAIN…AND REPEAT 

Probably just as, if not more notable than less physical exercise “on the mat” during this period, was the reduction and neglect of the quiet, meditative time that the practice of yoga provides. 

My excuses? Ladders, power washers, drop cloths, plastic sheeting, strong paint fumes/odors, and a big mess did not create quite the right atmosphere and ambiance for finding “mellow” and “serene.”

And, my to-do list got to be too long. But, along with a to-do list and schedules and agendas and digital/device overload, there always needs to be a “To Be” list on the desk, too. 

It’s blank. 

There’s nothing on the “To Be” list.  

And it’s essential to set aside the time to sit or lie down in peace and quiet (as much as that can be achieved and available in your home or at a remote spot) and to take that “no-thing-ness” with us for meditation. The virtual blank sheet of paper and just “being” is all you need to meditate.

And, whether there are actual ladders, nail guns, and drop cloths wreaking havoc, or metaphorical mayhem in our lives, neither provides a very good alibi for skipping meditation. Make no mistake about it. Any waning productivity on my part is directly related to less time meditating. I missed out on the refueling it provides. There’s a synergy there.

The quiet, mindful pauses are like getting a shot of adrenalin. They’re energizing…physically and psychically. They give us a boost.

Meditation need not be complicated. It’s a time to slow down and to try to balance out and quiet the mania manifesting in the brain. 

It’s a time to be alone with your thoughts and feelings.

What a concept!

The busy-ness in the brain is referred to as vritti in Sanskrit. Vritti tends to get out of control but can be tamed. 

Meditation is a time to get the physical body in a comfortable, centered place so the chaos in the mind can quiet. Getting centered and properly aligned may require a chair. Maybe sitting well is available to you on cushions or blankets. Maybe lying down is best. Caveat: If you’re slouching and rounding and collapsing and sloppy in your seated position, it’s virtually impossible to get the mind to find serenity or clarity. 

Or maybe you do a walking meditation [and leave your phone at home].

The challenge is to filter out all the external distractions and just meet yourself where you are. It is certainly easier said than done. But, unlike the “to-do list,” there need not be any plan. There need not be any goals. The key is to suspend any judgment. There is no reason to evaluate or to grade your performance and/or progress whether you’re meditating for two minutes (which can feel like a long time), ten minutes, or 30 minutes. 

No scolding yourself because you start to plan the dinner menu and shopping list in your head. This is what human beings do. The mind wanders. It’s simply human nature. 

If (or, more likely, when) you become aware that the mind has gone on a walkabout, it’s time to try your best to come back to concentrating on the breath and your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. The act of setting aside that private meditative time to be beholden to nothing and nobody can be valuable and beneficial, beyond words. Disconnecting from phones, computers, texts, and social media can be very good and pacifying medicine. And, a temporary digital fast allows for a personal reset and ultimately greater capacity to live well and do well for others. 

Amidst the flurry of activity here in my home this last month, what I sacrificed were my meditations. But, if sanity, coping, surviving, and feeling good are the goals, the quiet meditative times must remain a priority. Maybe it’s best to schedule it at the same time each day to fit it in. I can’t predict when that would be for any given individual. Everybody’s got busy lives and competing factors. Maybe, it’s more spontaneous, and you see when five or ten minutes open up in your day, and steal away to be quiet.

You just never know (and it’s imperative that you not try to foretell) what will show up for you during a meditation. But, with practice, as with yoga poses and yoga breathing exercises, getting quiet, blocking out all the noise and din and spin from which we’re bombarded all day, every day, becomes easier. And, the experiences become more revelatory. And, you may just become addicted to the pleasure and awe meditation can bring. You may also figure out that, even without thunder and lightning or some great breakthrough during a meditation, you’ll still feel better, smile more and have a better day. 

Namasté

Louise Applebome, 69, is a Certified Yoga Instructor in Dallas. After “retiring” from a vibrant and varied professional career, she became a yoga teacher. She teaches all her classes on Zoom right now and accepts students, young or older, from wherever they are, both geographically and in their pursuit of a yoga practice. Louise will help you stay fit and flexible, and release tension, aches & pains from the body…and the mind. Her yoga studio in Dallas is del norte yoga. You can reach out to her at [email protected].