“I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot.”

“I’m pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crow’s feet.”

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”

“I’m a great believer in common sense, and the older I get, I see that common sense is not that common.”

“Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.”

“If I’m ninety and believe I’m forty-five, I’m headed for a very bad time trying to get out of the bathtub.”