The Rookie Retiree By Renee Langmuir: Shake Up Your Daily Routines!

By Renee Langmuir

By the time we reach the “age of maturity,” most of us have refined our project management skills in the areas of work, home, and family. If your gender reads “female,” you might have even achieved elite status. This level carries with it a priority for others, cleanliness, order, and selflessness. Unfortunately, it might also include a large dose of boredom and ennui. If you have created your routines unconsciously, you might have omitted the great prizes of retirement: spontaneity, novelty, creativity, and fun!

How did we get here?

Try to picture a teenager you have known. In the quest for finding out “who they are,” scant attention was paid to the routines of life.  The room was messy, assignments were forgotten, and awareness of others was not a priority. Positive habits tend to develop through the young adult years and provide structure, predictability, and efficiency. By creating recurring routines, stress is reduced, productivity is increased, a sense of control emerges, and lifetime goals can be implemented. We are now at the far end of this “responsibility” curve. We wrote the book! We may have been at loose ends when we first retired, but our lives now possibly have a little too much industrial precision.

New retirees and routines

It’s very easy to become accustomed to routines because they make us feel safe. In early retirement, the main daily safety net suddenly disappears. Many of us have gone through a process of establishing new routines similar to those outlined on Secondwindmovement.com. We have brainstormed how we wanted to live our new life, set some goals, and consistently followed them, removed obstacles, and made adjustments.

Let’s not get carried away – we are victims of our own success!

A 2020 American Time Use Study finds that retirees tend not to allocate sufficient time to do the things they really value! After a lifetime spent in the workforce, retirement is often eaten up with chores, errands, watching TV, and scrolling through social media.

Count me out for too much TV and Facebook, but I have been known to overdo it in the chores arena, experiencing lost opportunities daily, but NO MORE!

Why should you switch things up?

If you have unconsciously set up a comfortable retirement schedule, you might resemble a fly trapped in a spider’s web. At first, she is not aware of her surroundings until it is too late! Just like the fly, we can become trapped in our comfort zone, but new opportunities for personal growth and creativity are hindered. Remember, the brain thrives on novelty!

You might feel murmurings of this scenario if you are feeling stuck: “Is this what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life?” You also might be unconsciously protesting your current identity as a caregiver or homemaker, especially after many years of thriving in the workplace. You might catch a spark of your secret yearnings when you hear a piece of music or experience something novel unexpectedly in the outside world.

A brain bathed in novelty responds with innovation, adaptability, resilience, and better skills to navigate the unexpected. Those masked passions arise, and newly found self-confidence overcomes fears, according to Dr. Ammar Alam. 

Releasing the shackles

There are many formulaic lists for people of all ages who get stuck in the day-to-day.

Suggestions of trying new hobbies, traveling to unfamiliar places, engaging with others outside one’s bubble, etc., are offered. Of course, these ideas are valuable. But they miss the salient quality of those who are truly alive in retirement, those who exhibit a child’s sense of wonder and attunement to joy. These folks develop conscious routines, and they are not afraid to stray from them for a good reason.

Consciousness is synonymous with mindfulness, and it is a skill that needs daily rehearsal. Without setting aside a short, quiet time each day to hash out what is important in life, one’s chores, the media, and significant others’ needs might dominate. This practice will open one to what is, not what was planned.

Illustrations from one formerly “stuck in a rut”

I probably would not even be writing this post without my iconoclastic husband. We are the dictionary definition of “opposites attracting” – thank goodness! This man can turn on a dime if a new situation arises for fun, and he has taken me along as his copilot for 21 years. Currently, I’ve been able to table my tasks for specific and timely needs he has in his historical photography and ephemera business. Household needs are simply postponed for a variety of bookkeeping, material transport, research, and travel exigencies.

These same tasks are also happily postponed for rides in the country, spontaneous lunches, and the need to see glistening water on a sunny day.

In my own realm, I have learned to cancel volunteer or exercise slots for timely travel or social opportunities, or if my older body needs a break from watering plants or feeding livestock. I’ve toned down elaborate, nightly cooking routines and have declared “no cooking” weeks after too much time was spent in the kitchen. My recurring cleaning tasks are now placed in a list, and I fill in the date when each is completed. I can tell what needs to be done next by looking at the oldest date, and this gets done at a convenient (or necessary) time!

Seasons are prioritized in our home. This week, the azaleas will be in bloom at Winterthur Museum – quite the spectacle – and a walk on the trail is on the calendar, despite what other domestic needs arise.

I am not an overachiever in the personal realm. Blossoming physical limitations and a diminishing lifespan are definite influences in these changes. Daily lessons come from two gurus: my husband and the Tao author Deng Ming Dao.  Once again, his sage words resonate in this matter:

We must remember to take action along the basic lines and seams of the day.

Renee Langmuir was an educator for 34 years in public schools and at the university level. After an unplanned retirement, Renee chronicled her transition to retirement through a series of personal essays. As challenges arose, research was done, and essays were penned, all helping her gain perspective in this new landscape. These reflections are housed on the website, https://www.therookieretiree.com. She writes from both a research and mindfulness basis. Renee is excited to receive your feedback and comments! Please contact her at [email protected].